trip music
released november 2000

trip music is about getting as far away from the three sticks as possible.. a journey further past them and closer to the tree, at least trying. there were a lot of potential possibilities emerging from behind the forest.. and a lot of ideas about what could and couldn't happen. this album was an experiment with different kinds of sounds, some i kept, and some i left behind on this record.

Flash Bulbs

You see the people on the stage you know they are dancing just for you,
you see the faces in the crowd you forgot just what you should do.
I know it’s hard for you, I know it’s hell for you.
Give me your self-esteem I’m the one who’ll scrub you clean.
You know I’m here for all you see, and I will give you everything you’ll be.
The dancers stare at you, the eyes they burn through you.
And the flash bulbs flicker away, and you know you’re not gonna stay.
I ran as fast as you could crawl, I chased you in to the stair.
Never did your house look so old.
I know a dusty town, I know a circus there.
But all the streets are gone.
It’s all just dripping away, and there’s nothing more to my head.
Broken eggs all over the floor, and no mop could clean it all.
For an anniversary I gave you a bowl.
Fish and birds conceive children that you will never meet.
Forget all you said to me, and pardon the mess, I like my past.
There was some literature that I read once, it said something about the sun.
it disappeared one day and made way for new thoughts.
He wiped off his bare feet and put them where they would be safe.
I never really knew that girl, and wrapped electrical tape around her breasts.
And the flash bulbs flicker away, and that’s the smell that’s not going to stay.
Chopped up screws and a wire in my head.
Flash bulbs exploding until I’m dead.

Come Down

I can talk I can scream, you were all present in my holocaust dream.
And I’m worried reasons from the gates,
neighbors call from garden’s glory and jeremy cares about what he hates,
and I’m sitting on an old box of pizza I know there is a reason,
I fell out of my father’s tree you picked up all my broken pieces.
Please take my ragged fingers and place them in your mouth, you saint,
I begged you to hold me and reserved my bottled paint,
I can’t stop paying your bills twist around bottle cap cat skills,
powdered stripper in a reckless van I learned to over restrict your deadly chills.
Saving mercury was too bold and went cross country, with a midget and a horse
I drew up on empty, it was a cold metal bucket full of requests for you mind,
and I seem to remember that the twentieth century was mine,
a biped princess with a tongue of gold
she slipped me a twenty by far,
I need to sleep now is all she said and the baby seal will end up dead,
up and down the circus town with a rope made of souls,
crying non stop and eating almost never
shoveling sand and shoveling coal,
and she will never come down,
she will never come down,
she will never come around this town again.

Eating Breakfast On A Train

You wake up your in a room,
everything around you.
I am the cat under your bed, that’s what she said.
The carpets are all wet I lap it up with my tongue.
Don’t stare at me. I don’t give a little fuck I guess I’m out of luck.
The baby whistles in the wind, come on lets take the bus.
My chin is itchy, scratch it now, have we arrived?
Oh yes we have, he said, and how.
Eating breakfast on a train, do you understand you are insane.
I walk along and have some fun, it’s not that hard when you’re just one.
I lock the dog up in the shed, come back tomorrow, my dog is dead.
Its so funny how things work, I got touched and slapped the jerk.
My revenge ain’t over yet, no it’s not my little pet.
Walk away, oh walk away. I walk away, my eyes I left.
Left behind so I don’t see, I don’t see that bitch in front of me.
fucking play this fucking game, the rules for me just aren’t the same.
You wake up you’re in my room, everything around you is turning blue.

Under Arches (written by Elaine Boyling)

He was hiding under arches, In the ivy, Slithered down the steps, Weather beaten stone, Faced the day and claimed it cold, She sat silent in the window, And the air hung heavy all around, She sipped at lemon water, Pressed flowers with her thumb, Forget-me-nots, They dried in the window box, No one ever told her why, He left them for her, In threads of nettle hairs, He spun his wings, Bound with the sound of frenzy, Peaches and mint sauce, In the wood paneled halls, A solemn degradation, As the sun slipped out of sight, The ivy crept across the window, Its tendrils on her pane, As he leaned on gray stone pillars, And curved his spine around, Like the ivy, Under arches, He held a tiny bird in his fist, Felt its little heart explode with fear, Taming out its flight, Taming out its breath, She slipped herself inside a book, Held adventure in her mouth, Her world flickered sepia, Such a restless little soul, If danger is a notion, It slipped behind the pages, Tamed and brimming up with fantasy, He pulled her out into his world. She slept amongst the ivy, Curled and pale upon the feathers, And he watched her breathing, Caught and eating from his palm.

Lake of Seeds And Flowers

Magic marker is the way to your soul
I have a bowl of glowing coal.
That get you out of the house,
when all the babies in your dreams are gone.
I never wash my hair and I don’t even care,
about the state of the nation,
or the people always talking on the radio station.
It’s about that horse, the one that’s hanging from the noose.
And why I breathe in water and the mule’s on the loose.
I could give you my shirt.
And I could dance with your toys.
I sterilize the girls, and spit on all the boys.
And I’ll never get it right, but I’ll never really try.
And I’ll never save your life, but I’ll never let you die.
And I’ve gotten so old that I don’t think that I can stop.
I cut off the dog’s three legs, cuz I won’t let him walk.
The panty hose that you used to wear are all tangled in my hair,
and I never thought you would bark,
but now I’m sleeping deep in the park.
I stripped you down with steel
and knocked you down in to your meal.
We ate the crackers and we spit out the soup,
then we took a long drive around the loop.
And it’s the same with you, and it’s the same with all you do,
and I’ll never know what is true in the lake of seeds and flowers.

My Last Day

I’m sick of setting it all up and I need my trip.
And I’m gonna visit forever, and I’m never gonna come back.
I have to laugh at these people cuz I don’t know what to do,
and why did I write this down, and where are you.
My vision is blurred and it’s not gonna stop.
And the pain is always there, and I know I’m gonna drop.
Today is my last day but I live it like forever,
like I have time for all the things I crave, but I know I never will.
I saw you once, and I saw you again,
and everything we did it didn’t seem to end.
And the one I tried to make, it tore me apart,
and it took away my two souls, and demagnetized my head.
I will never give you anything, cuz I’ll never be aloud,
and the summer is too hot, and I passed out in the crowd.
She handed me a pamphlet, it told me about my pants,
it talked about mars, and all the things we never did.
I’ll never give it up, it means more than straps,
clean and leather, I stood in your door.
Covered me in icicles, I covered you in more.
Your full-length pants, and a head made out of booze.
I stay with you all night, cuz there’s nothing more to lose.
All the animals in your house are all caged up.
And drift like wood, and fill our socks with candy.
I gave you thirty reasons why the monkey’s on the loose.
And why this is my last day and this is what I choose.
I’ll never learn to be happy, but I don’t think I’ll cry,
and I’ll never be complete, and you’ll never say goodbye.
Cuz this is my last day, and the sun is kind of strange.
I’m sick of monotonous drilling, and you’re just out of my range.
I miss you my dearest, I’ll see you in due time.
I’ll give you all my restraints, and let you go home.

Dark City

I don’t know why I woke up this morning,
and the sky is always gray.
I don’t wanna believe I’m human,
today is the same old day.
I don’t think I have a future, and I’m forced to forget my past.
The monotony is like breakfast,
and the lake is burning fast.
I’m sick of being sick, I’m sick of all the dark.
I drink to stop my mind, she’ll never leave her mark.
She fell out of her tree, and shoved her fist though me.
She drank up all her tea, removed her eyes so she can’t see.
She stumbled around my dark city.
And I can see you now and the strap around your neck.
And I can be just how you want me to stay.
And I can stop myself, and I can feel your mouth.
And I won’t say how you did all you could do to stop me.

Trip To Monday

Drive yourself to the doctor’s house,
and never give him your money.
Peel back your skin, and scratch and win,
and cover your scabs in honey.
You never stop spinning around
and there is never any one around.
You grind your face in to the ground,
and stop hearing all the sound.
You woke up on the drive back home,
and you didn’t think you could come.
The Cardinal lived in sin with the gnome,
and your eyes burnt out from the sun.
You spread it out like a calico cat,
and you went to sleep on your back.
You dreamed about a burlap sack,
and all the other things you lack.
So a trip to the dump was improvised,
and it took a lot longer than you realized,
when she was done the priest was surprised,
and your whole damn life was satirized.
I was built a cake for your birthday,
and the candles burnt down your bed.
And fall began in May, and I ran away from all you said.
Your home is covered in rings of smoke,
you look blue in the TV light.
I closed my eyes and wait for something,
I bite my hair and the blood tastes right.

Styrofoam Vacation

My trip took me through a valley,
and led me to your alley.
Disrespect the clothes you wore,
and pulled you in through my door.
You seen it. I been there.
I broke my leg on your stairs.
I never regret you.
Styrofoam vacation and the leather you pulled through.
I pulled on my best night shoes,
and emptied my pockets of the things I could lose.
I met you in car wash,
blister in my eye, and I couldn’t see the headlight.
Suffocate the Mongoloid.
Ran so fast I lost her in the night.
I’m wasted, apocalyptic.
Never need your mirror, so I don’t fuck my lip stick…
never could I want more,
you burnt my house down and built me a door.
I pulled on my pants, and never let go.
Cut off my thumbs, and missed your show.
Stepped out of the driver’s side,
gave you one look and then I lied.
Fresh air is the death of me,
but I finally arrived at the foot of the sea.
Rolled around in the back of your street,
feeling like the rocks that I started to eat.
I wish you would cut your throat,
stumble around like a lunatic goat.
I never promised you all the things you do,
I just kick it in the spine and walk to the zoo.
I gave it up and rolled on out,
underneath the water you started to shout…


well I’ve finally arrived,
I’ve been waiting my whole life.
Scissors in my mouth to get here,
a train of never ending strife.
And I can’t stop turning around,
I’m so dizzy I clutch your shoes.
I must have walked a million miles an drank a lake of booze.
The night is black and dead the way I need it to be.
At the end of the street I go in,
and lick your face up in the tree.
Tomorrow I’ll go back.
Tomorrow I’ll go home.
Tomorrow I’ll be sane.
Tomorrow I won’t roam.
Tomorrow I’ll be yours.
Tomorrow’s last kiss is,
tomorrow’s final breath.
Tomorrow I leave this.
And the sun must go down,
and the traffic lights have to stop.
And the day must always end,
and the leaves must always drop.
And I look at her mouth, and she says I must go back.
And the moon is full and red,
and I walk along the tracks.
The trip was all I needed,
I did it by myself.
And I didn’t need a guide.
The morning’s sun is on my shelf.
And I prayed for this,
and I know where I came from,
and the dream was in my arms,
and I prayed that tomorrow would never come.

By My Tree

I saw you run up to me,
that’s when I knew I should be,
right here by my tree.
I looked up at the stars and that’s how I found myself here,
and that’s why I will never leave.
I know I won’t go far,
I’ll stay where my babies grow,
so much I will never see.
I know you, I know what I need to do.
I saw the rain turning blue,
and my legs won’t let me move.
Right here by my tree.
Please don’t show me that,
all the thing I didn’t know.
I close my eyes until I am blind.
And I’ll never grow up.
And I’ll never be old.
Chances are we’ll never die.
Right here by my tree.

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