released march 2005
one of the most important pieces to the puzzle that connects everything together.. the vacation to gilbert town was more than a vacation after all, and this was the attempt at throwing ropes over the bridges and swimming across oceans in order to connect everything that had been learned so far.. not really understanding what it all meant, but not really caring.. having hope and feeling let down all at the same time. not really knowing if the future was to be some kind of fantastic web or not.
secret broken watch
I have a secret broken watch That I will never show to you It shows the time when I’ll be there When I won’t know what I can do And I always knew that she was there Waiting forever to get in Waiting for tragedy to happen Because that’s where I’ve been.
Slipping in to the frozen lake it’s when I know my legs will stop totally working for me in my capacity Slipping in to the frozen lake is when I’ll take the time to think about what’s right Tonight And when we go to the street when I once slept and we will find out what’s fine for me And it’s fine for you Going away on a special trip I know that I will slip right in to you Right in to you Slipping in to the frozen lake Slipping in to the frozen lake I know that this is when we’ll take the steps that are necessary I’m going to buy you a potted plant your going love and care for it like it was yours Tonight Showered with water Showered with gifts Showers with the things that will never give you peace Again Slipping in to the frozen lake we know that this is the time we take to look at the things that prevent me from being alone Alone Stepping on to the board walk I will hold your hand and look at the way that you will die One day Take my hand we walk along past shops that sell things like socks and you know that you don’t love it any more I am going to the lake, one day Slipping in to the frozen lake I know that this is the time we must take to understand why my legs won’t work any more for you I see you upstairs in that room again. Again.
this is the last time I’ll ever see this place with a broken down aquarium and a broken down face fall over from the weight of my bags broken ankle and broken mouth waiting for the last train home gilbert town is way down south Bag is heavy and full of fish and fish have bags all full of mice mice hid walnuts in their cheeks and you're a walnut in my pocket Gilbert town I ride my bike to the corner store on bunny circle soda pop is there for you wishing that i couldn't die wishing that there was more pie and wishing that I had your eyes and feeling like you lost my mind and knowing that we're out of time. I softly pluck out all your hairs replace them with some geese and bears and wreck your eyes for all of time hold your knees while i decline he was listening to the tv theme forgetting all the things he dreamed and wiped his mouth of salt and rice felt like dreaming about going home walking past the raspberry bush picking them off with my last tooth falling down on broken glass bandaged up in broken towns it's just like winter when you are gone feel my senses going numb bundled up in grass and leaves and maybe tomorrow i will stay And the ground don't know how much you kick it it lets you do it and it just loves it and we can't talk to each other when we lost our mouths Flavored kisses in a tunnel train ride west and slightly south I'll tell you when it's time to leave in 20 days when i feel fine locked up in a strong man's tent stepping slowly on the lines
I once had a real life with things to do and things to see and nothing that was real for me and nothing that was meant to be. I once had a real life with flesh filled bodies and smoky air and nothing that was too important and everybody pretends to care. I once had a real life with broken muscles and bloody stumps and no one to say what I did was anything but really wrong. I once had a real life with flesh filled bodies and smoky air and everything was too important and everybody pretends to care. I once had a broken mirror that I looked into to find you a shattered and broken android take me where you want me to. It is gone but not forever, it is nothing any more. Pull myself to bring it closer and know it feels like open sores.
At the bottom of this air vent Everyone is looking down Looking down at all the make up On their daisy covered clown Feed him nothing but his butter Feed him nothing for seven days Needing nothing but to cover him with candles till he pays secret door way in my wardrobe opens up to your back room sneaking in there after darkness slipping past the coats and brooms you are sitting on your arm chair feeling stealing wardrobe ink I am slicing up the oranges To make us something cold to drink Night time brings us even closer To the water station control room Waiting up and never sleeping Living in a robot’s tomb Slip away from here on Sunday And look down in the circus vent Bringing things like scarves and clovers To give him luck in his lament He doesn’t really live here now He changed his face with Jeremy stitch He found out all about my wardrobe And made his home inside a ditch It’s hot outside tonight But we will never know When I am stuck in vinegar blankets Hiding from the snow. She offered me a world of incense Flavoured like the moon Sweet aroma of the cactus Hangs in the air this afternoon.
it was last night
I’m gonna file a report on you I’m gonna give you all I got too. And it was last night when I let you know. That the only thing I ever wanted was you And you’re my baby now.
Finding a way to find my way around this town is killing me Never lending out the last drop of all my sense is never enough Burning out the last of the plants on withered streets is finding me Waiting for the end of this to start again is leaving me finished and gone And gone Plastic Paper Metal and wires Feeling nothing Starting fires I’ve got to go, and I’m so sorry I’ve got my things and I’ve got my story I’ve pushed my hand inside your pocket And taken out a fist of sand and flowers Feel like holding in my spilling out inside bits before they hit the floor Feel like holding in all the secret plans before I go out the door Leading me to the back of the parlor to save myself from all the things I might do. Plastic Paper Metal and wires Feeling nothing Starting fires I’m sure I’ll never go, and I’m so sorry I’ve packed my things and packed my self up I’ll push my hand inside your mouth And hold on to you forever Scissors in my hands are trembling like an ocean rain Falling down and holding on to the ground like it was the end Dig a hole as deep as deep can be And pull you out and wrap you up in rolls of cellophane.
I have been crushing daisies in my face Wishing that they would fill me up With wax and lemon flavoured wishes Wishing that I wish I’d stop Never swimming in a lemming Never crossing off my sticks Never cutting down the forests Full of trees that say your name I’m melting down the captain’s schooner To make a suit that I could wear In a place that never happened When I wish that I was there Tired fingers falling over Down the cellar doors again Slipping in to that chamber Where I set you up again Feeling like I should be running Legs will never let me stay In a town that I once spoke of In a shop across the way I’ll never let you ever go But I will never let you sleep A rest that lets me sleep forever With the one I want to keep And lemon flavoured wax and butter Covered up your lips last night When I found out that what I told you Wasn’t what I know was right And always living with the needing For everything to be alright I’ll swim away with legs of metal And meet you under trees tonight I’ll stand on top of piles of booklets And save myself to make you smile I’ll wish forever that you found me Loving you in volcano towers.
bathtub full of lilies
you should be locked in a bathtub full of lilies the room on fire but you are covered in water falling out a window in the middle of summer you smell geraniums when you adored me
walked past the bakery and saw the man with the stitched up lip walking down near the aquarium waiting for you to come home sneaking down the sewer grate whistling the song you made holding on so tight to it I think that it might break in two Falling down and cut my lip And lay down there forever again And calling out to nothing new And feeling like it’s never there Cracking open mighty doors Slide inside and mend it up It’s over now and I know that There’s nothing that I can do now I demand to see the body I demand to see the body I demand to see the body I demand to see the body It’s not real until I touch it It’s not real until I see it It’s not real until I touch you It’s not real until I see it. Touch you.
need to see your eyes
Curled up in a ball at your feet Waiting for you to come around And sitting with a jar of nails To pound my feet into the ground There’s nothing more that I can do For that I’m doing this for you I tear my eyes out in the dark To see if I can save you more To see if I can find some twine To wrap around you if it locks To keep your insides always in And keep you closed up like box It’s me down here in the cellar When everybody has gone away I’ve been working here forever On my favorite girl display It’s gonna go off here tomorrow You better cover ears and eyes I’ve given up on ever seeing She surely never even tries I pack a lunch for her to go And never tell her what I know I watch you walking down the street And hear the circus down below My skin has dried out nice and silk It’s pale and brittle now you see And if you touch me I will break off Everything that was once me I’ll blow on your eyes if you don’t move I’ll stop you from wishing one last day I’ll never be outside again For fear your twine will slowly fray I’ll keep you here on a home made chair And send away the passers by They don’t need to look inside The way I need to see your eyes Honey glaze all on your skin Keeps you like a china rose And patches on your broken limbs Are hidden under home made clothes I kiss you soft and go to sleep And feel myself upon the bed I’ll never really sleep again Holding things inside your head
I attached a piano wire to a baby And sent it in a mine shaft And when I was a young man I swore I’d never do that She swallowed three small pills And went to sleep for ever And stitched up a new vest And pulled down on my lever I promised when I was younger That I would polish silver Till my hands were both bleeding And I couldn’t lower the anchor I wish that when I was younger I would have taken you away To a place built out of dead wood And painted blue and grey I once grew you a plant With a bird and splintered leaves You took it to the lake side And joined a gang of thieves I wish that you were younger So I could wash my face In rivers full of reisling And paint you up again. I’ve changed my boots exactly twice since you decided that I was worth it I opened the rest of the birthday presents when you wished that I wouldn’t I saved the last of the bread last night to feed it to the pigeons I felt that you would somehow end if I just made concessions
I’ve been piling up the boxes to make a fort A fort made of boxes made of you Waiting for the florescent lights to die Flickering away above my head Selling off my home made wallets And hunting down the smells that I miss Never knowing how long this could take And selling off my only chance to kiss Peeling away the paint from my wall The only wall I ever need again And wating in the rain for some transport Lifting up my hand and then Look around me everything is old Atrophy taking over my hands I smell the air to see if all is well I know that this never end I wish that I could swim like fish And be swept away in you I feel my senses falling down I have no problems touching you In a field with poppy trees I make you fall on to your knees I sit you down and cut your hair I know that you’re not really there Sit down with stacks of silver skin It has to end when I begin It going to take a year or two But it will surly end with you
how to build the perfect human
Bloodshot eyes you are so fetching Disillusioned in my sleep Hallucination of the dinner Toxic nails in my feet Watching out for my best birthday Something in my pocket Feeling around for 20 hours Within your last eye socket Stitch you up with dental floss And keep your insides in I followed you to get the paper To put under your skin I build you out of empty boxes That once led perfect lives I fashion you from broken clocks And military knives I stand you up and sit you down And wish that you could speak And kiss when I least expect it Until my lips go weak I wear a jacket made of feathers Guadalupe Caracara I feel like Christmas in the summer And wear azure mascara I’ll never leave you at the side show Fearing that you’ll run away I’ll softly clean you every night time To make sure that you’ll stay
lolly pops and birds
You know that everything I do is everything that I will ever need from you and running down on the wings of unknown birds and falling in the wishing well wishing well again. I fell off the edge of the bed and fell in to the end of everything. You know that everything you do is like sleeping in my mind with a knife for you to cut around the edges of my honey sandwich and never give the end away when we knew it was all we could do to stay here never gonna stop wishing it feels like something living under my skin in my mind feels the water’s too high for me to breathe any more this is all, it all seems useless to bother saying anything and anything has no meaning everything just can’t begin that bird is crashing in the ground, falling on to pavements that are stained with all my friends, living in the caves where you never thought I’d go, and crying in my porridge in the end of the show. It’s all gone for me now, and I’ll give you all I’ve wanted for years and years and I will take a finely sharpened surgical blade, it’s all I ever needed To cut out this awful disease Cure me without bleeding My eyes have both glossed over nicely waiting for the eastern sun Waiting for a tragedy But it will never come My eyes have both glossed over nicely waiting for the eastern sun Waiting for a tragedy But it may never come, riding down the street on the wireless telegraph message to god.
mermaid version 2
If I could be your mermaid I would sing a song for you all night long if you'd let me if I could be your mermaid I would fall down at your feet and let you keep me off the street if I could be your mermaid I would ask you what is true if the water's really blue if I could be your mermaid I would never let you go I would keep you here with me under the water. under the water under the water... and the fishes swimming past will never blink an eye at us living in a sunken ship for all of time that we can see forgetting that the world up there used to tell you what to be and I will hold you tightly when the last breath of air has gone from you, and you don't care and all the world just melts away under the water.